Grief, self-care and Christmas

Tools and practices for the big day

“The depth of your grief is a measure of your love. But it is also a measure of your capacity for joy.” - Joanna Macy

Since my mum died, I’ve spent the last 15 Christmases navigating the swampy grief of the festive season. Some years are warm with memories. Others, I hide in the corners. And I’m not going to lie, some I’ve screamed into the hedge or quit the day for a Baileys in the bath.

My dear friend Xochi once told me that “everything is holy’ and I believe that sentiment is one we can all hold onto during this season — especially when it comes to grief. I have written a list of the big, small, practical and devotional things I have found supportive and nourishing during the festive season.

These are practices that work for me, so take what you need and leave the rest.

Practical stuff

꩜ I make sure I have everything I need (textbook behaviour for a Cancer Sun, Cancer Rising). I bring my favorite snacks so I’m not hoping they’ll be there. I make a list of the Christmas movies I want …